Monday, November 20, 2017 - 2 Rabi' al-Awwal 1439

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My fiancé lives abroad and asks me to send him some revealing pictures of me. Is this permissible?

My fiancé lives abroad and asks me to send him some revealing pictures of me. Is this permissible?

Answer

The concept of engagement in Islam is considered an introductory project which aims at marriage as its final destination. This introductory project has its own rules which are totally different from the rules applied in marriage. Engagement is initiated in Islam for the couple to get introduced and acquainted to each other’s thoughts, beliefs, opinions, personalities and characteristics. Getting to know all these aspects help in measuring the level of harmony in feelings and compatibility in thinking between the couple. The settings for these meetings should be conducted in public places and not in private ones or behind locked doors which needs a permission for entrance as this constitutes “khalwa” or private seclusion which might give a window to the arousal of sexual intimacy between the couple and such sexual experience is prohibited during engagement and prior to marriage. Engaging in sexual acts is only permitted between the married couple. Also the acts which lead to the arousal of sexual experience is also prohibited and these include kissing, hugging, holding hands, sending and exchanging revealing pictures, watching sensual movies, chatting with obscene language among other acts which render to the rise of sensuality between the couple. Also it is impermissible for the engaged woman to reveal her hair, if she is a hijabi, or any parts of her body to her fiancé as the man does not have the right to see the revealed body of the woman prior to marriage.

Another logical reason for the prohibition of any sexual interaction or acts which might lead to excessive intimacy is that during the period of engagement the couple should pay their utmost attention to their intellectual compatibility, mutuality in social standards, the level of education, and future dreams. These are the factors which provide high level of assurance for the couple that marriage will have a good chance of living happily ever after. Giving room for sexual experience between the couple hinder their sight from seeing each other’s pitfalls as they rather focus on the side of sensual pleasure which will be a byproduct of marriage and should not be the focus of the couple before its right time. Marriage is a sacred union which should be entered with utmost care and thus making an educated decision regarding marriage requires measuring many aspects social, intellectual, emotional among other vital aspects which determine the level of success of the future marriage.

In conclusion, it is impermissible to comply with your fiancé’s request of sending him some revealing pictures because he is still considered non-mahram [ajnabi] to his fiancée until they conduct the marriage contract. Seeking piety and abiding by God’s commandments of modesty, chastity and purity earns you the blessed fruit of having a successful, happy and joyful marriage.

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