Friday, November 16, 2018 - 9 Rabi' al-Awwal 1440

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I want my husband to spend some quality time with me. Is this too much to ask?

I want my husband to spend some quality time with me. Is this too much to ask?


No, it is not too much to ask. In fact, every wife is entitled to enjoy companionship and intimacy with her husband. However, people’s temperaments differ, and what may be said theoretically may be very difficult to achieve in practice. What is important for everyone to realize is that marriage is not a mechanical relationship. It is more about intimacy of persons who should be able to share life’s affairs, problems, joys and sorrows.

If a man keeps himself detached from his wife, it is no wonder that she feels lonely, depressed and unhappy. It is his duty to try to correct such a situation by being more loving and tender.

Having said that, I should add that many couples have problems in their relationships because they do not realize that there are differences between the way men and women look at things. Therefore, a woman may give her husband a simple word of advice concerning a problem he has and he takes it to mean that she does not trust his judgment or that she thinks he is incapable of managing his affairs. Similarly, a man may try to get his wife to take a certain line of action when all she needs is for him to listen to her and understand her feelings and give her moral support.

Therefore, it is imperative that men and women try to understand what each of them expects from the other. No man should think that his wife is immature because she needs to hear words of love and endearment from him. Similarly, he needs to make her aware that when he tells her of a problem he has, he is not looking for suggestions on how to deal with it. Such suggestions may, to him, signal her lack of trust in his ability.

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