Thursday, October 18, 2018 - 9 Safar 1440

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A wife refusing her husband’s bed due to household chores and child care burden, is she to blame?

A wife refusing her husband’s bed due to household chores and child care burden, is she to blame?


A wife has rights upon her husband while a husband has rights upon his wife. Legal rulings cannot be used in a way in which each spouse seeks out Prophetic traditions and legal evidences to prove that he or she is always right and the other party wrong, thus using religion as a means for pressuring the another into conceding to his or her wishes without fulfilling their duties. This is a wrong approach. Marital life is founded on love, mercy, and mutual respect of each other’s feelings without reducing the relationship to nothing more than demanding rights.

The Messenger of God (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us that a wife must be mindful of God with regards to her husband and that she must know that good companionship and patience with him are among the things that will admit her into paradise. She must also know that by refusing to have sex with her husband, she prevents him from enjoying lawful physical pleasure. It is impermissible to make him feel he is the last item on her list of interests. On the other hand, a husband needs to understand the physical strain involved in household chores and childcare. He must therefore be merciful towards her and not burden her with more than she can bear. Through such mutual sincere feelings, a couple may fulfill their duties towards each other and the purpose of God.
And God the Almighty knows best.

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