4 Rabi' al-Awwal 1439
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I am a religious girl but my parents are irreligious and I don know how to deal with them

I live with my parents but I am more religious and conservative than they are. They watch movies and listen to music and they use inappropriate phrases and force me to do the same. They also utter words of polytheism and disbelief. How can I deal with them on daily basis for the sake of guiding them to the true path?

Answer : English Mufti


You have to be easy and lenient with your parents as Islam does not appreciate isolation of the Muslim from his social surrounding. Also you have to be very careful not to call yourself “more religious” than your parents because you simply don’t know who is more virtuous in God’s sight. Your parents might be more beloved and virtuous in God’s sight with their sincere hearts regardless of their acts and sayings which you think mount to sins.

The mere fact that your parents watch movies or listen to music and the like is not a sin as what mounts to a sin is watching things which cause God’s discontent and same goes for listening to music as listening in itself is not prohibited as songs are simply words which can be either good or bad and we ought to avoid bad ones. As for the words that your parents utter and you classify them as words of polytheism or disbelief can simply be a sheer misunderstanding in your mind to what mounts to disbelief. Therefore you have to be careful not to judge your parents and think of their acts as prohibited in Islamic law.

You also have to stop thinking that you are better than your parents or closer to God than them because what actually matters is sincerity of the heart even if the acts were not many. Thus you have to be merciful with your parents as the mercy of the Muslim should flow over to encompass all people around him or her. You also have to bear in mind that Islam commanded us to be gentle and kind with our parents even if they were disbelievers let alone if they were Muslims.

I advise you dear sister to reconsider your position towards your parents and the judging attitude over their acts and sayings. Also you should not listen to the talks of half scholars and self claimed scholars who lack both religious knowledge and intellectual discernment to pass juristic rulings and lack the ability to comprehend the meanings of the textual doctrine.

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