I am a Muslim convert who is in love with a Muslim man from another nationality but his family refuses me. What can I do?
I am a Muslim convert who fell in love with a Muslim man but we are from different nationalities. He proposed to me yet his family is adamant on refusing to agree on his marriage to a girl from another nationality. It has been two years now and I don’t know what to do. Could you advise me please?
Marriage in Islam is a sacred union that is based on mercy, love, respect and mutual understanding along with intellectual compatibility and social adequacy. Inter cultural marriages usually face the problem of differences in the cultural background of the two couple; for this reason the families of one or the two parties usually act conservatively and hesitantly out of fear of potential problems resulting from these cultural differences. As legitimate as their fears might be, the role of parents should be limited to giving advice out of care and love but not out of force or compulsion.
This means that the ultimate decision of getting married should be determined only by the two of you and if the parents of your man adamantly refuse to give their blessings, then your man should decide whether he wants to take matters into his own hand and marry you or he prefers to find another girl who gets the blessings of his family first.
Islam does not differentiate between people based on their nationalities, skin color or cultural background as the only scale for virtue among people is by piety. Therefore people should not be subjected to discrimination in treatment based on their ethnic origin.
I understood from your long letter that the man you love is your co worker and you have been seeing each other for two years now with no shred of hope that his family would change their minds. I would advise you to continue praying to God to guide your heart to what is best for you and to ask your man to make up his mind and take his decision so you can both live happily together or for each of you to start a new life and go into separate ways. May God grant you happiness in this life and the hereafter. Amin