I am in love with a guy who showed ...

Egypt's Dar Al-Ifta

I am in love with a guy who showed interest in me but then got engaged to another girl. I want him back. What can I do?


I love a guy. He also showed interest. but when I became really serious he put off. but remained in contact with me. Three days back he got engaged. I desperately love him. 

For last two years I just asked one thing from Allah and that is to get married to him. I have a strong trust in God that he will give me that guy. I want him back in my life as husband. I don’t have any bad intention. I also don’t want to hurt any one, neither his fiancée nor his family. Please help me. I am having very bad anxiety.


Dear questioner,

Love is a beautiful sentiment and a divine gift that God places in the heart of people so they love one another and express their care for each other. Through this divine love all kinds of relationships are in place be it the love of parents to their children, love between spouses, love among friends and relatives, love of goodness to others etc…

Falling in love with someone cannot be called complete love unless this love is mutual and not an infatuation of one party to another. In your letter, you strongly expressed your flowing love for this guy and your constant prayers to God to join you both in marriage but when you talked about his feelings, you only referred to him as having an “interest” in you. Interest does not necessarily mount to love and his sentiments for you could have been simply an admiration which ceased and did not grow into love whereas your feelings for him unilaterally developed to love.

This might explain why he got engaged to another girl as your attachment for him was obviously not mutual. This is the first scenario. As for the second scenario, he might have actually loved you but for one reason or another he could not take this relationship to the official level. In all cases, this leaves you with the same result which is that you fell in love with the wrong person because for love to nourish it needs constant care and affection which has to be mutual otherwise love simply dies.

Your constant prayers to get married to a man who don’t love you back or not keen enough to make the relationship official is praying for a potential misery as any relationship that lacks love between the two parties is like a dry tree that lacks water and becomes vulnerable and potentially falls down and couldn't stand for the blowing wind of life.

Putting your faith and trust in God holds the underlying meaning of submission and contentment with His decisions and entails the feelings of serenity and satisfaction with His destiny whatever it maybe. You have to remember that God is the best planner and if this man was the right one for you, you would have been married to him by now. Sometimes we hold tight to things which lead to our future dismay and through the mercy of God alone He guides us to what suits us best. So my advise to you is to hold tight to God and place your heart in submission to His will as He only wills what is best for you and reassure yourself that the right man for you will not make you suffer the agony and the pain of separation because he will love you back and you will feel in your heart the pleasure of mutual love.

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