Should I marry a man who I am not i...

Egypt's Dar Al-Ifta

Should I marry a man who I am not in love with?


Salam alaykum,I have introduced a man to my family,he has paid the first gift but I realized I never loved him and I always shout at it wrong to leave him and find someone I love? Because I pray for paradise and A̶̲̥̅ woman's paradise is loving her husband and being obedient to him. Ma asalam


The period of engagement in Islam is designed for the two parties to get to know one another and to be familiar with each other’s personal traits and characteristics. It is also a period for experiencing intellectual, social and cultural compatibility. More importantly during this period the seeds of love are sewn in the hearts of the two parties. Having regular quarrels and fights between couples in this period could be an indicative sign of the lack of understanding and harmony between them. Marriage in Islam is based on compassion and mercy between the two couple and this sound base would be hard to achieve if the couple are not in love in the first place.

At the time of the Prophet, a woman came over to the Prophet asking for divorce from her husband. So the Prophet questioned about her complaint and she said that she did not complain from anything except that she did not love him and did not wish to remain in wedlock. The prophet respected her request and she was divorced in turn. Another incident was about a woman who divorced her husband and her ex husband used to walk behind her in streets crying out of love for her. So Prophet Muhammad felt sorry for him and talked to her about her ex husband’s plea of returning back to her. The woman asked the Prophet if this was a request or simply an intercession so the prophet confirmed the latter and in turn the woman said “I have no use of my ex husband”. The prophet respected her final decision and all these incidents indicate the importance of love as a solid base for marriage.

Based on your question, you have no feelings of love for your fiancée and you both have a lack of understanding of each other as your continuous fights indicate, it would be better off for you both to leave each other instead of establishing a relationship on false base that is likely to fall apart sooner or later.

If you decided to leave him, it would be appropriate to return back to him his gifts and find another spouse who can meet the expectation of both your mind and heart.

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