My fiancée was implicitly initiatin...

Egypt's Dar Al-Ifta

My fiancée was implicitly initiating sex talk and wanted me to comply. Am I right to refuse his request?


I was dating a respectful guy and we were planning for marriage and family involvement after certain things are settled. I know he respects me and never intended to seduce me in a bad way since he wants me to be his wife. Occasionally, however, we talk in a certain way that involves romance and sometimes he implies that he is sexually aroused, which in turn makes me feel the same. I believe that we should not declare such feelings to each others as we are not married yet and told him that we have to avoid doing this and was very strict about it. He thought I'm being extreme and he wanted me to just obey him like always including in this matter, claiming that he would never say or do anything that is prohibited. I insisted on my request and we recently broke up because he believes that I should be obedient all the time. I still think I did the right thing by insisting on my request, but wanted to hear the Islamic point of view on this.


What you did is right. The relationship between men and women is based on chastity. Communication between both sexes is allowed if the manners prescribed by Islamic law are observed and it was for a purpose deemed valid by Islamic law, such as work, study and so forth. If a relationship exceeds these restrictions it becomes prohibited. In Islamic law, a woman is commanded to avoid anything that might make her an object of desire for men, an object for sinful glances and forbidden feelings.

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