I cannot keep up with my husband’s ...

Egypt's Dar Al-Ifta

I cannot keep up with my husband’s sexual desire. Is it legal to refuse him in bed?


Is a woman allowed to refuse to sleep with her husband after a fight? She only refuses her husband because he has a higher sex drive than her. What can she do?


A wife has sacred rights on her husband and vice versa. Yet legal rulings should not be used to search for legal evidences to prove oneself right at the expense of one’s spouse. This approach only leads religion to work as a pressuring card to force one party to do as they wish without caring so much as to fulfill their duties towards the other partner.

Matrimonial life in Islam is essentially based on mercy, love and tranquility as well as on paying extreme care and consideration for the feelings of both parties without boiling the relationship down to the mere fact of demanding rights. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us how to lead a successful matrimonial relationship by basing it on kindness, gentleness and care. This means that the husband should be caring and understanding of his wife’s hard chores at home and how tiring, daunting and exhausting running home duties could be. He has to be helpful, merciful and loving to his wife. On her side, a wife must show her husband love and understand that intimacy deepens their bond of love and care. By refusing to have sex with him, she closes the door of lawful pleasure for her husband. Moreover, a wife should not make her husband feel that he is the last item on the list of her interests. The spark of love between a couple needs to remain ignited through love, mercy and kindness which will enable them to lead a happy marriage.

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