Does the wife have the right to question her husband on certain matters or should she remain silent?
Question
Does the wife have the right to question her husband on certain matters or should she remain silent?
Answer
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) provided the best example for us to follow in terms of good family relations. His directives stress most emphatically the need for kind and caring treatment between man and wife. Such emphasis was needed for several reasons: The first was the fact that Islam establishes a norm of marital relations that is in stark contrast to the values that prevailed in Arabian society at the time, where women were treated as inferior to men. Secondly, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) realized that women were always vulnerable to ill treatment, and often unable to find help when they are ill-treated or abused by their husbands or other men. Thirdly, he made it clear that only a bad person is unkind to women. Fourthly, he wanted to establish the fact that good treatment of women entail rewards from God. Hence, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) stressed this at every turn. Even on his deathbed, he continued to urge Muslims to treat women kindly.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) consulted his wives on serious matters, and acted on their advice. He helped them when they needed help and attended to all their needs. When Aisha, his wife, described his conduct at home, she said: "He used to repair his robes, mend his shoes, and attend to all his family's needs."
Unfortunately, in some areas of the Muslim world, the status of women is in marked contrast with Islamic teachings. Whereas Islam treats women as equal to men in every respect, some communities pay little attention to this and continue with their tradition of looking at women as inferiors. They stress that the position of a woman is to obey her husband in whatever he says and that he may not be questioned on what he does. This is totally unacceptable in Islam. Consider, if you will, how God the Almighty describes Himself in the Quran: "He cannot be questioned about whatever He does, whereas they shall be questioned" [21: 23].
When a man finds it unacceptable that his wife should ask him about what he did in his day and tells her to keep quiet, is he not behaving in a way that is appropriate only for God? When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) came home, his wives always asked him about what he did and what responses he met with. Our way of looking at the marital relationship needs to be reformed to bring it in line with Islamic teachings and with the example shown by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). What we must always remember is that this relationship should always be built on mutual care and respect.