Do my parents have the right to mak...

Egypt's Dar Al-Ifta

Do my parents have the right to make me marry a girl against my will?


Do my parents have the right to make me marry a girl against my will?


Being dutiful and kind to parents does not mean blindly obeying them. All blessings lie in obeying one's parents in a manner that does not harm the children's lives whether they are male or females.

As for marriage issues, it requires taking into account the social status and compatibility between spouses. One must not make a hasty marriage decision but should consult family members and learn from their life experiences. In fact, marriage is not a picnic; it includes responsibilities, a family that needs expenses, and independence from others. Marriage is an important matter that should not be taken lightly or be based on the mere admiration for another person. It is a lifelong relationship and affinity that necessitates social, intellectual, environmental, and cultural harmony between spouses. Therefore, making a decision based on first impressions is of no consequence.
Parents possess experience in life, always seek what is best for their children, and strive to marry them to a reliable spouse. God has instilled the innate emotions of parenthood into their hearts and commanded children to consult them. Their advice is a kind of protection for children in the matter of marriage and, as such, children are obliged to follow their advice in this respect.

Islamic law waived the obligation of obeying parents in the matter of marriage when they refuse a suitor for the mere sake of objection. Based on this, you should seriously heed your parents' advice and discuss the matter with them. However, you are the one who has the final say since it is you who will marry and bear the consequences of your decisions; parents are only trustworthy advisors.

Know that Islam does not discriminate between people except in terms of piety but takes into consideration differences in customs and traditions. Scholars have therefore discussed the matter of spousal compatibility to guarantee the stability of marital life and the endurance of love between spouses in particular and their families in general.

Declining a marriage request due to a difference in nationality is not always deemed an injustice. This is because just as Islam takes into account compatibility between spouses to protect a woman from enduring living standards she is not used to, it likewise takes into consideration customs and traditions which differ from one country to another. Some customs and traditions may be different while others may be similar.

Parents seek what is in the best interest of their children due to the innate emotions of parenthood that God has instilled in them. This, together with their life experiences, gives them the ability to choose well for their children. On the other hand, children do not consider anything of such matters and their considerations revolve only around their wish to marry a particular person. Based on this, your parents’ objection to the person of your choice is not deemed an injustice as much as it is an innate concern for your interests. Parents are commanded to advice their children to choose a good and generous spouse who will make them happy.

As for work and other life affairs, you should seek the pleasure of your parents as much as possible by taking their opinion and advice seriously. This is because they have more life experiences and possess the innate emotions that enable them to seek what is in their children’s best interests and brings them happiness. Finally, you are the one who may decide on what is better for you.
May God amend your affairs and grant you success in that which you love and pleases you.

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