Do my parents have the right to mak...

Egypt's Dar Al-Ifta

Do my parents have the right to make me marry a girl against my will?


In Islam we are supposed to obey our parents but do my parents have the right to make me do something against my will like marry a woman I don't want or make a woman marry a man she does not want or tell me to work in a certain place while I don't want to ....etc,


Being dutiful and kind to parents does not mean to blindly obey them. All blessings lie in obeying one's parents in a manner that does not pose harm to children's life both males and females.

As for marriage issues, it requires taking into account the social status and compatibility between spouses. One must not be hasty in making a marriage decision; rather, one should consult family members and learn from their life experiences. In fact, marriage is not a picnic; it includes responsibilities, a family that needs expenses, and independence from others. It is an important matter that should not be taken superficially and should not be based on mere admiration; rather, it is a continuous life relationship, and affinity necessitating social, intellectual, environmental, and cultural harmony between spouses. Therefore, making a decision based on first impressions is of no consequence. Parents possess experience in life, always seek what is best for their children, and strive to give them to a reliable spouse. Allah has instilled the innate feelings of parenthood into parents' heart and commanded children to consult them; it has made their advice a kind of protection for children in the matter of marriage. Therefore, it is fundamentally obligatory for children to follow parents' advice in this respect.

Shari'ah (Islamic law) waived the obligation to obey parents in this respect only when they refuse a suitor for the sake of objection. Based on this, children should seriously heed their parents' advice and discussions. However, children are the ones who will make the final decision, because it is you who will marry and bear the consequences of your decision; parents are only trustworthy advisors.

Know that Islam does not discriminate between people except through piety. However, Islam takes into consideration differences in customs and traditions. Therefore, scholars discussed the matter of spousal compatibility to guarantee the stability of marital life, and the endurance of love between spouses in particular and between their families in general.

Declining a marriage request due to a difference in nationality is not always deemed an injustice. This is because just as Islam takes into account compatibility between spouses to protect a woman from enduring living standards she is not used to, it takes into consideration customs and traditions which differ from one country to another. However, some customs and traditions may be different while others may be similar.

Parents seek what is in the best interest of their children due to the innate feeling of motherhood that Allah has instilled in them. This, together with their life experiences, give them the ability to choose well for their children. On the other hand, children do not consider anything of such matters, their consideration of interests revolve only around their wish to marry a certain man. Therefore, parents objection to marry the person of your choice is not deemed an injustice as much as it is an innate concern over your interests. Parents are commanded to advice their children with respect to choosing a good and generous spouses who will make you happy.

As for work and other life affairs, you should seek the pleasure of your parents as much as possible by taking their opinions and advice seriously. This is because they have more life experiences and possess the innate feelings that enable them naturally to seek what is in your best interest and brings you happiness. Finally, you are the one who decides on that which is better for you as you see fit.
May Allah amend your affairs and grant you success in that which you love and pleases you.

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