My wife requests to have a separate house from my parents, is this lawful?
Question
My wife requests to have a separate house from my parents, is this lawful?
Answer
It is the right of every wife to have a home of her own according to the standards of her own social background. If she is unhappy with her husband’s parents because they may often interfere in her life with her husband, are too demanding, or because they expect her to treat them as if they were her own parents, then she has a genuine reason to complain. In such a case, her husband must deal with the situation according to his means.
At the same time, a man has duties toward his parents, and he must look after them, particularly if they are weak and cannot cope on their own. But this is his own duty. If his wife helps to look after his parents, her action is voluntary and very commendable. She deserves his gratitude for it and no doubt God will reward her amply for her kindness.
Having said that, I should add that it is often the case that when a man has his own house that is separate from his parents’, he finds the situation more conducive to better family relations. Therefore, couples who need to stay with their parents for a while normally try hard to move into their own homes as soon as they can afford it. This does not normally affect the relationship with the husband’s parents because they expect that this will eventually happen. When such a move takes place, it is important for the husband to realize that he should continue to look after his parents and try to make their life as comfortable as possible.
I have already said that a wife is entitled to have a home of her own according to the standards of her social background. She is also entitled to have all her living expenses met by her husband. Both man and wife also have the duty to help each other to maintain their chastity and as such a wife must respond to her husband’s sexual needs as long as they remain within what is permissible in Islam. Her other duties include not letting into his home anyone he disapproves of, keeping his secrets and speaking well of him in his absence.