Is the hadith that states, “Consult them [women], then do the opposite,” authentic? My husband always acts on his unilateral opinion with regard to shared matters in our home and does not take mine into account. Even when he listens to what I say, he still ignores my opinion. When I asked him why he never follows my opinion, he replied that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Consult them [women], then do the opposite.”

Citing the report attributed to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), “Consult them [women], then do the opposite,” as evidence to support actions that are in direct opposition to the advice of one’s wife, or of women in general, contradicts the practice and guidance of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who consulted his wives and other women on various matters. Moreover, this report is spurious and cannot serve as evidence according to the principles of hadith sciences.

The hadith scholar, Al-Sakhawi, noted in Al-Maqasid Al-Hasanah fi Bayan Kathir min Al-Ahadith Al-Mushtaharah ‘ala Al-Alsinah (pp. 400–401), “I do not find the hadith, ‘Consult them [women], then do the opposite’ to be marfu‘ (directly attributed to the Prophet) ... The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) consulted Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her), as mentioned in the story of the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah, which serves as evidence for the permissibility of consulting a righteous woman due to the integrity and sound judgment of Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her).”

Imam Al-Suyuti said in Al-Durar Al-Muntathirah fi Al-Ahadith Al-Mushtahirah (p. 134), that the alleged hadith is false and baseless, while Imam Al-Manawi noted in Fayd Al-Qadir (4:263) that the report lacks any basis in fact.

And Allah the Almighty knows best