Should I be obedient to my husband ...

Egypt's Dar Al-Ifta

Should I be obedient to my husband when he asks for forbidden matters?


Should a wife be submissive all the time, and a man would bear the sin if he asks for prohibited stuff. In all cases, he expects me to be obedient all the time but I don't want to give him my word. What should I do or say to convince him that I should not be obedient to him when it comes to doing sinful things? I need to make a strong argument and I need to provide proofs from Quran and sunna. Thank you.


It is impermissible to obey anyone with respect to disobeying Allah the Almighty. In Islam, the marital relationship is based on love, mercy and mutual respect between spouses as per the words of Allah the Almighty, "And We created love and mercy between you [Ar-Rum, 21]
A wife's duty towards her husband:
A wife's obedience to her husband must be according to what is equitable. This means that a wife is to obey her husband's commands with respect to his conjugal rights which Allah the Almighty has made lawful, and which do not incur any physical or psychological harm upon her or things that a husband is not entitled to ask for.
A wife must stay in the husband's house and not exit it except by his permission; she must not allow anyone inside the house except by his consent.
However, this does not mean that a husband controls his wife by mistreating and abusing her, or oppresses her by imposing difficulties upon her.
A husband's duties towards his wife:
A husband is obliged to provide for his wife’s expenses and allow her to visit her parents even if for once a week or according to what they agree upon. On top of such obligations, a husband must treat his wife kindly and be patient towards her. Kindness and patience are two characteristics which both spouses must espouse; each of them must treat the other with kindness and be sincere towards the other both on the inside and on the outside. They must also do their best to please one another as each would like for himself/herself. Moreover, they must remove the hardships and pains of life at times of crisis. In this respect, Allah the Almighty says, "And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable. But men have a degree over them." [Al-Baqarah: 228].
This merit given to men is in fact an obligation upon them to care for women and not to oppress them.


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