My husband wants me to live with his parents. Is he allowed to do so?
Question
My husband wants me to live with his parents. Is he allowed to do so?
Answer
According to Islamic law, the wife has the right of having an independent marital house separate from the in- laws. Therefore, the husband has no right to force his wife to give up her right and move in with his parents especially if she foresees damage in her marital relationship because of the interference of her in- laws in their lives.
So the legal aspect on this matter is pretty clear. On the other hand, if the questioner is keen on continuing her life with her husband while he is adamant on his request of moving with his parents, she needs to show a great kind of wisdom coupled with compassion. She needs to state the obvious which is that she carries a great amount of respect and love for his parents and she admires his keenness to show extra love and care for them by moving in with them. She needs to show him that she is on his side and they are not at opposite directions which would lead both of them to pull away further from each other.
If the reason behind her husband’s decision is out of showing goodness to his parents then he needs to express the same good feelings for his wife. The original status for married couple is to have a separate life from their parents with minimal or no interference. Respecting one’s in-laws is deemed essential but reciprocal respect is equally important. She needs to change the tactics and convincing methods from “I” against “you” tone into what is best for “us” tone.
If the ultimate aim for the husband is to make his parents happy and to maintain close ties with them, moving in with them can possibly lead to opposite results. Why one needs to move in with his parents if his folks live close by and he is able to visit them regularly? The wife needs to understand the non said reasons behind her husband’s persistence on moving in with his folks. Moving in with his parents should not be a goal in and of itself but rather a means to a good end. If this good end won’t be reached through moving in then he needs to rethink his position and change his opinion to make both parties happy, his parents and his wife.