Marrying a divorcée without parents' knowledge
Is it permissible to keep my marriage to a divorcee a secret from my parents?
Marrying a divorced woman is effected in the same way as all other marriages. You must make sure, however, that the woman’s husband has actually divorced her and that she has completed her waiting period. A post-divorce waiting period lasts until she has completed three periods of menstruation or three periods of cleanliness from menstruation. If she is too young or too old to have the period, she waits for three months. If she is pregnant at the time of divorce, her waiting period lasts until child birth or after the pregnancy is terminated.
The marriage contract consists of a spoken offer made by the woman's father or guardian and its acceptance by the groom. This must be done in the presence of two witnesses. A dowry is payable to the bride by her groom. The amount is agreed upon between the two of them and the money becomes the property of the wife. She has sole discretion over its use since it is hers. It is strongly recommended that after the marriage takes place, the husband invites relatives and neighbors to a meal. This serves as part of the publicity which is essential in marriage.
When we say that publicity is essential, the first to know normally are the families of the bride and groom. Hence, keeping the marriage secret from your own parents is unbecoming. If you feel that telling your parents about your impending marriage will create unnecessary problems, it is permissible to hold the news for some time. However, in fairness to your wife and your parents, you should try to normalize your relations as soon as possible by taking your parents into confidence and telling them about your marriage.